Dear Comcast Customer Relations Department,
First, you should know that I am writing this letter with my middle fingers. I recently transferred service from one apartment to another, within the same complex. Some would consider this a fairly easy feat, but not for Comcast. Apparently this is as difficult as Americans electing quality leaders. Since the instatement of my new account, I’ve experienced nothing but a lack of service, outrageous bills and charges and customer service representatives incapable of understanding my issues. We all have spoken the same language…English…so I’m confused as to why this is.

Because of my new location, I was eligible for a decreased rate in service and a few other “special offers”. Understandably, I took them. The following week I received a bill for $502 for “miscellaneous equipment”. You can imagine my surprise when I received such a bill after I carried my own equipment from the old apartment to the new apartment. After much confusion on a 30-minute phone call and “box tracking”exercise, they were finally able establish that since they had not shipped me a new box and a technician had not provided me with a new box, I must be using my old box. Genius!

After hooking up my box myself–to avoid a $39 installation fee– I had all the channels but my DVR wasn’t working. I called Comcast technical support. Heaven knows I wish I never had. This nonsense began on a Wednesday. Over the next 4 days, I experienced a litany of hour-long technical support calls, box resets, confused phone reps and me shuffling armoires back and forth to try and “reconnect the cords”, as if that was the problem. Everyone know they are color-coded and I’m not color blind. Every time I called in, I lost more channels until I was left with only GPB. I’m not a fan of Big Bird, so this doesn’t work for me.

The final phone rep I spoke with was so frustrated herself, she offered to send a technician the following day, free of charge since this entire debacle was at the fault of Comcast.

The following day, the gentleman arrived to fix the TV box. Two hours, 3 cable boxes and the technician excusing himself into the hall to yell at the dispatchers at HQ later…he finally fixed my TV. He determined that all along it wasn’t the box, the cords, the wires, the customer or the technician but the ding dong account representative who deactivated my account “on accident”. Whether that’s true or not, I’ll never know. I do know that I was able to resume watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and that was good enough for me.

Fast forward 2 weeks when I receive my bill. There was a $50 charge to have the technician come out!! Upon calling, the lady on the phone offered to reduce the fee to $30. I will admit, after all of my patience, my hours on the phone and the unplugging and replugging of cords, I lost it. $50…$30…any dollars charged to me because of your mistakes? I don’t think so. She said a supervisor would call me. I am still waiting on that call. You can bet your hiney that I’m not paying the bill until this is settled- even if it results in disconnection.

Unfortunately, because I live in an apartment complex, I am limited in cable service providers. I am not a fan of satellite and because my complex has an exclusive contract with Comcast, I cannot use AT&T Uverse, a company that is actually capable of providing quality customer service.

Over the last 3 weeks, I’ve spent upwards of 11 hours on the phone with your representatives and the reality is that TV is not worth the elevated blood pressure. You are rated as the Worst Company in the US for a reason. You can rest assured that when I do leave my apartment complex, I will never use Comcast again. I will not recommend your company to anyone and will make sure that anyone considering Comcast knows the ridiculousness that is your company.

May God Bless your lyin, cheatin’, fee-chargin’ souls.

Fondly,
JS